A History of Bonehead Moves

Everybody makes mistakes. It's a fact of life that we have all long since come to accept. But let's face it, pro sports is a big business. You are expected to consistently put a quality product on display for your fans, and a mental error at a crucial time sticks in people's heads. Nevertheless, there have been some truly epic failures over the years, and the author is not talking about bad plays from an athletic standpoint (i.e. Bill Buckner or Ray Finkle). No, the author is talking about those plays that make you ask "what the fuck was going through that guy's head?"

Tonight the author will review the actions of a man who has become synonymous with the word "gaffe". He is former Cowboys tackle Leon Lett. However the actions in question are not his famous ham-bone incident at Super Bowl XXVII. While this was a humiliating play for Lett personally, the game was already a joke, so really all he did was sacrifice a little bit of dignity for the sake of comedy.

The actions in question took place some 10 months later on the second biggest day on the NFL calendar, Thanksgiving Day. With the Cowboys leading 14-13 in a rare Dallas snowstorm, the visiting Dolphins lined up for a last minute field goal. The field goal attempt was blocked, and all the Cowboys had to do was let the ball go dead (note to non football fans: only the defensive team may recover a blocked field goal; if the offensive team touches it or the ball stops moving before it is touched by the defensive team, the play is dead and the defensive team gets the ball). Let the ever articulate Emmitt Smith tell you the rest.



There are a few things in this play that the author finds hilarious. First of all Leon Lett has apparently forgotten the above rule, which is a really basic football rule. Secondly, at no time does it cross his mind that something may be up when at least two players from each team are refraining from touching the ball in spite of having ample opportunity to safely make the recovery. Note also, once again, that it is snowing in fucking Dallas, as though Jesus really wanted Leon Lett to fail this horribly. The lightning quick speed which which the near 300 pounder comes screeching into the frame... seriously, the announcers and the stadium audience had at least a little bit of warning, but to those watching at home it was about about 3 Planck times of abject horror, then all they could do was blankly stare at the screen in a vain attempt attempt to comprehend what had just happened. Then there was the play by play jeeves saying "Leon Lett" twice, first with run of the mill sports announcer shock, then with the tone of your mother when she used your full name before a lecture when you were 6. But that note from the little girl... that has to be simultaneously the saddest and the funniest thing that the author has ever heard.