Sports Nicknames: The Good

Inspired by Dull Skates and Broken Twigs' mention of the "Little Ball of Hate" Pat Verbeek, as well as Cracked.com's love of lists, the author (that's me) has decided to compile a list of the top nicknames in sports. By the way, honourable mention goes to the 6,238 hockey players who have been given the nickname "Killer".

Ron Francis - Ronnie Franchise

In two stints spanning 16 total seasons with the Whale/Canes, the author's (that's me) current old school favourite amassed 1175 scoring points, which is not only a team career record, but is also well over doublethe points scored by the teams next all-time leader Kevin Dineen. That is to say, this nickname was not a stretch.

Gordie Howe - Mr. Hockey

Nobody has played more hockey at the major professional level than Gordie Howe, very few have performed as well, and it's safe to say that nobody's elbows were more feared. Also, no pro hockey player has, to the author's (that's my) knowledge, come closer to nailing Ms. Krabappel. There are those who say that Gordie Howe was great but should not be counted among the greatest, and that he just played a lot of games. Well all those people have to do is take a gander at the 1968-69 NHL season, when Mr. Hockey, playing for a fifth place team at the age of 41, finished third in the league in scoring with 103 points.

Apollo Creed - Many, Many Nicknames

The only fictional sportsman on this list, the former champ once had all of his nicknames listed a few minutes before he was brutally murdered in the ring by He-Man. The most well known of his names was The Master Of Disaster, but he was also known as (in increasing order of awesome) The Dancing Destroyer, The King Of Sting, and The Count Of Monte Fisto. Also, his ring entrance makes Prince Naseem Hamed look like the acme of modesty:



Talk to you after the fight, Champ.

Reggie Jackson - Mr. October

He was a career .262 hitter, and nobody in the history of baseball has struckout more times. But if Jeremy Roenick were to mention it, Jackson would be quite unable to hear him, what with the 5 World Series rings in his ears. Rings that he has largely because nobody in the history of baseball has a bigger reputation for turning up his game in the month of October.

Babe Ruth - The Sultan of Swat

This is actually two awesome nicknames (sadly, George's mother did not give him the name "Babe"), and when you throw in "The Bambino", the greatest ball player of all time quickly become a pretty good nickname mine, too. Only two players have swatted more in their careers, and his 60 dingers in a single season remains the highest un-asterisked total.

Dick Lane - Night Train

He actually got the name from an old big band record, but nothing could be more fitting. This name captures his feared tackling style (the facemasking rule in football exists because of Lane) and it fucking rhymes. What more could you ask?

Walter Payton - Sweetness

Since his running style was ridiculously aggressive, the author (that's me) can only assume that this nickname stems from Payton's exploits as a hip-hop artist:



By the way, Payton and the 1985 Bears were so good that they recorded this video before the Super Bowl... victory was just that certain.

Stu Grimson - The Grim Reaper

While the other people on this list can be considered greats, Stu Grimson didn't even really belong in the NHL, but for his ability to intimidate the sweet living fuck out of everyone with his insanely unpredictable behavior:



The author (that's me) especially likes Doug "Killer" (imagine that) Gilmour's belly-to-back suplex, and Veal Scalloppini getting into it with the fan. But wait, there's more:



Calling this guy the Grim Reaper is actually a little misleading. While old Death is certainly a fearsome foe there is method, and consistency, and purpose in its ways. This guy was just a crazy shit who was given a piece of wood and thrown on the ice.

Lawrence Taylor and LaDainian Tomlinson - LT

Both of these men are so unbelievably bad ass that they don't need any of your little pussy-assed "words".

Roy Halladay - Doc

Originally a play on the old west gunfighter/dentist Doc Holliday, this turned out to be possibly the most appropriate nickname of all. The man is a fucking surgeon. He works quickly, he works tirelessly, he works methodically, and he has the best cutter since the invention of people throwing stuff.

Tommy "Hitman" Hearns and "Marvelous" Marvin Hagler

Just. Fucking. Watch.



Any questions?